Thoughts and voices in my head.

"Do you really want to write this down??"

"Maybe, yes. Why, what's wrong in that??"

"Well I don't know. People might think that you are crazy.?"

"Why would they think that??"

"Because you hear 'voices' in your head.?"

"I don't think I'm alone. Everyone has a voice inside their head."

"But I don't think they are having a lengthy conversation with oneself, about having lengthy conversations with oneself."

"Umm..."

And that is a small snippet of what goes on inside my head most of the times. We all talk to ourselves, pretty much most of us do, I assume. Ever since humans invented language, talking to oneself has been a much amusing side effect. Researchers are still pondering over if this phenomenon existed before languages came into existence. As you can see, talking inside your head requires a voice, a language. Here is a pretty good game you can play with your mind. Try to create a thought process in your head, but without a voice. Let there be no sound or voices, telling you something or talking to you.

Very hard, right.? Also not to mention very creepy.

That doesn't mean people who have been deaf since birth cannot have thought processes like us. They do, but it is very different from us. It is also proven that animals do have thoughts like us, certain emotions and also they dream. But having a voice and by using a language as a tool we seem to have an extra edge in this behaviour. And it pretty much varies from person to person. It also signifies how much our thought process is dependent on our sensory organs. An experiment has shown that we could get hallucinations when our sensory organs are deprived of data. Imagine sitting inside a dark and sound proof room, will you.??

I usually have this lengthy conversations. Some very interesting, some amusing, some exhausting and some pointless. It's like having a friend who is always there, acting the way you want to. But sometimes it can be my foe too. Making things pretty hard. But the best thing about it is that, it is always interesting. It's like having a continuous commentary in my head. It's annoying and exhausting at times, but I got to live with it. Since it is my own mind, it pretty much knows all the non-boring stuff. So in a way I'm always entertained. If you ever spot me smiling or grinning from ear to ear, all alone, you know I ain't.

And like I mentioned, language has been very instrumental in this phenomenon. So have you ever wondered which language you talk to yourself.? Well, I did. I was talking to myself about the language in which I was talking to myself. And quiet funnily, I talk to myself in English. Very very funny. I tried changing it to Tamil, Telugu or Kannada sometimes and it felt weird. It was like someone else talking inside my head. And I don't remember what language I used to use previously and when it got switched to English.

Another very interesting thing about this is the voice. Well it's our mind, so obviously it should be our voice right.?? Well, no. Atleast for me it isn't. Do you remember Bumblebee from the Transformers movies? The yellow Autobot that is always around Sam. And do you remember how it uses the internet to find audio from the web to say something.? Well it is similar to that. The voice in the head depends on what I'm talking about. If it is about cricket it is usually Harsha Bhogle, if it is about studies or something then it's the voice of a teacher from my school, if it is about complaining about something sinister I did, it would be my mom and so on. I do not know about others but I find this really fascinating. You see, the temporal lobe in our brain is responsible for the language comprehension. We are somehow able to create our thoughts and then assign a voice from our memories stored in temporal lobe and then feed it back to the temporal lobe to be interpreted and make meaning of it. Freaky brain, even when not on dope.

"You have lost it dude."

"Shut up."

Now, another interesting thought. Lets say we die one day. We all do. But someone decides to recreate us or resurrect or whatever. Well, it's possible even with the present technology. All you need is the DNA. And voila, you can clone as many copies you want, of yourself. How great that would be. But then it only ensures the possibility to make that copy look like yourself, physically speaking. It cannot guarantee it. Other than DNA, many other parameters decide the physical attributes of our self. Height, weight, immunity, skin colour to a little extent and many more can be influenced by the food we eat, places we grow, the climatic conditions and the overall environment of our growth. But let us assume we develop a technology to recreate you completely to your present state(3D printing, anyone??). But other than anatomically it still doesn't make us, us. It would not be us.

We are not just our body. No no, I'm not talking spirituality here. Pure science fiction this is. Atleast that's what I have convinced myself it to be. So, what makes you you are the thoughts that are inside your body. Any changes in that would make you similar to you but not you. Now lets say we are in a time where we can recreate an entire human with their DNA, physically. But then you have to flood it with your conscience and consciousness to make it exactly you. Ok lets assume we have the methods to extract a person's mind and store it on a hard disk. Unfortunately you are dead and you haven't stored your mind in a Mind Bank for back up. What?? Mind bank is where you store your mind. You know, like sperm bank.

You have a body but no mind. That means the process of recreating you is now in a limbo. So what else can we do? This is where the Electronics engineer in me rubs his hand in glee. Have you ever heard of sampling.? It is the main process in converting an analog signal to a digital one. The continuous analog signal is sampled at discrete time intervals to produce a discrete-time signal. And the analog signal can be reconstructed from the discrete-time signal by a method called interpolation. The shorter the sampling interval the better the reconstructed signal. Do I still have your attention..??

What does this Electronics sorcery has to do with your reconstruction you ask.?? Good question I say. See, just how the signal is constructed back from the sampled signal, how if your mind is put together with the samples of perception of you in the minds of other people.? *Eureka moment* You know, like a personality report that is created by running various tests. Yes this could be very foolish and sinister. But hey, we are a social being and we leave impressions on the minds of other people, wantingly or unwantingly.

And not to mention the amount of online or virtual interactions we have that are always monitored and recorded. But perception is a very tricky thing. The perceived idea of personality of a person is not just dependent on the person who gives the impression but also the person who perceives that impression. What could be funny and interesting(like this post) for me might be boring and irritating for you. But then what is your mind? It is the perceived idea of the world around you and the people in it and the memories created centered around that idea. Watch this video for example. Even our own perceptions of ourselves might not be what it is. I don't know what level of practicality this idea might have. But I would like to see such a thing. How much different my actual self will be from the perceived idea of me by others. All while I'm still alive. May be we could exchange a few notes. One thing for certain I know is, he is going to tell me that I'm not that good at writing as I think I am.

"You are never getting laid."

"You know, if you weren't inside my head, you would have been dead long back."

My ode to the Master Blaster.!!

Ok, the festivity may have already come to an end for me. India has built up a sizable lead. In all probability we are going to win by an innings. I would not want Sachin to come back and bat. This was good, if not better. Yes, I would have loved to see a century from the Master. But that's ok. It doesn't matter. Even if he had gone for a duck or scored a century or even a double century, we would always want more from him. We can never get enough of this man.

We have seen so many play this beautiful game. Many rise up to a level attained by only a few. And each time such a player exits from the game, we feel sad. But him? For Sachin it just doesn't stop at being sad and disappointed. It goes beyond that. We mourn. For we don't just love him. We adore him. We worship him. When he walked back to the pavilion today, it was not just an end of an era. It was end of something much more beautiful. The sweet memories of our childhood with which most Indians grew up with. He was walking away with a part of us.

And I can't identify just a thing or two that I will miss the most. That cover drive or the square cut. That paddle sweep or the upper cut. The way he comes down the pitch to loft the ball straight over the bowler's head for a six or the way he comes on to the front foot to hit that straight drive. When he is in full flow, it's like a poetry in motion. Beautiful, elegant yet destructive. And when he scores a century, the feeling is described best only by the word 'Euphoria'. Or may be just him standing on the non-striker's end, leaning on his bat, his left arm on his hips. Like I read somewhere, 'Will we ever see such a sight again?'

No matter how much I try, I can't put all that I feel into words. Words fail us sometimes. And I'm happy that it does so, right now. What can we mere mortals, who can't handle the expectations of few people and feel pressurised say about a man who has handled the expectations of nearly a billion people for over 2 decades. Succeeding more often than not. What can we mere mortals, most of us who don't even have a single achievement to talk about say about a man who owns almost all the major records of the sport. What will we mere mortals, whose entire lives have not influenced more than a few hundreds if not thousands, talk about a man whose 24yrs career has touched so many people that we can't even imagine. He transcends normalcy. And in that transcendence, he became the titular 'God'.

For all that joy he has given us, we have nothing but #ThankyouSachin in return. And he accepts it gratefully. Such is his humility. And when I go to sleep tonight, I know cricket will not be the same for me and million others like me from tomorrow. For I know, from now, whenever India plays I will not be able to ask 'How much did Sachin Tendulkar score?'. But I will reminisce about all the sweet memories and cherish them. And indulge in the nostalgia with the help of youtube videos and television replays.

And once again, #ThankyouSachin.!!

Why this marriage-veri, society..??

Disclaimer: No offense meant to all those happily married folks. I'm extremely happy for you guys. :-)

Ok, lets talk about marriage. The one phenomenon and word that has the most varied variety of emotions attached to it. Second only to love I guess. Most people would say that they both are inter-related, on most occasions atleast. I'm not entirely sure though. See, we took one of the most intimate and personal of things and made it into this enormous societal phenomenon. And boy did it screw it up for most people or what.? Now instead of just bashing up this societal phenomenon(yes, it's a societal phenomenon. I will come to that point) with just emotions, lets look at it from a logical point of view and dissect it like the cockroach we cut open in our school days. And hey, just to clarify, I'm not against marriages. I'm all for it. Different sex, same sex, all of them(not child marriages though).

Now lets go back a little on our timeline(not the facebook one). You know, when it would have all started. Few thousands years ago. I would like to go on a little side track here. If you are one of those who believes in the story of Adam and Eve, that God created the world 6000yrs ago, you should stop reading this now. I highly doubt that someone who believes in the story that two people were put in a garden together, naked and were let to make babies and populate the entire earth with so many different races, could make any comprehension from this post. Also not to mention, whom did their children marry and make babies if Adam and Eve were the only people around. Won't that make them brothers and sisters.? It's a nice little story without the happily-ever-after theme, the only part I like about it. Lets just keep it as a good bed time story, for adults.

Ok coming back on the track. Where were we..?? Yes, few thousand years back. You know, when we were roaming around naked with only our bodily hairs to cover our privates, shouting ho-bo bo-bo jo-bo, dining out everytime, literally. I don't think marriage would have existed then. We would have just gone around humping around each other, fighting for our right to mate. Basically we were driven only by our instinct of survival. Everything we did, like hunting, gathering, fighting, humping, everything was driven by our desire to survive. It ensured 2 things, survival of self and survival of the species. If you believe in God, I think this is the original prime function He hard-coded into our brains. Everything else was added to support and abet it.

And when we started civilizing, like covering our bodies with leaves and animal skin, started farming, domesticated animals and settled down at one place, someone would have thought, "Hey wait, we are doing all these things so that our survival becomes easy and we still fight for having sex and making babies.? That's stupid". Bam. Here comes marriage. You know, an easy solution to make more babies, which means higher rate of survival of the species, with less fighting and more peace. Win-win for all. Yaay.!! But wait, why do you need marriage for that.??

Now lets say our ancestors had a very good knowledge about genetics. And they thought that if one strong guy went around humping all the females, the children that were born would then most probably be doing the 'thing' with their half brothers and sisters which will then lead to genetically and mentally problematic babies. *GoT reference start* Case in point, look at how Joffrey Baratheon turned out. A complete asshole. *GoT reference end* Highly unlikely ain't it.? Or lets just assume they finally figured it out that kissing your brother or sister or cousin is really gross and very uncool. So they made people live with each other and have sex with only them for their entire lives and produce children that were genetically ok to mate and produce more children that were genetically ok to mate. Win-win. Also they made sure that everyone in the community knew who was with whom so that they don't go secretly humping around others. More win-win. Lo and behold, thus was born the concept of marriage. The grand societal phenomenon. It also ensured another important aspect, the parental love and sibling love. Usually the males just fucked around and did nothing about protecting and bringing up the children. It was left to the mother. The less number of off-springs meant more care towards them to protect your genes. The ultimate nut-crack move.

I also assume that this is where the first discrimination came around. The guy who made these rules would in all probability be the leader of the group and also the strongest. He would have thought that if everyone had one partner and he too had only one, how would it make him the leader, the special one. So he made an exception. That he was above these rules. He can have as many partners as he wished. Why..?? Because he said so. Power rules, bitches. More partners means more babies, which means more copies of your genes. Which in turn meant better survival of the linage. Survival, baby.

See, how it all happened. It came around because it was a need. To survive better. Not because it was some fancy thing everyone wanted to have. As the society became more and more civilized(read crazy), we kept adding more stupid rules to this concept. And now it's all kind of fucked up shit. You are supposed to marry only certain people at a certain age in a certain way. They don't care if you love the person you are marrying. That's stupid. Love is for pets and smartphones. What they care about is whether the person you are going to marry belongs to the same religion, same caste, same sub-caste, particular gothra, belongs to the same or higher economic class than you, shits and washes the bum the same way you do. And yes, belongs to different sex. Same sex marriage..?? *Shudders* Shiva shiva. God is going to poke your eyes with his thrishul only.

Our society is a very paranoid one. We are like the Cold war era USA and USSR. Always afraid of what the other one is going to say or do. If only we could sit over a couple of drinks and have a good chat. Sigh. I mean, seriously. They are like, oh, he doesn't want to get married. I think there is some problem with his dong(not the Vietnamese currency), may be he cannot makes babies. Oh, she didn't get married? I know there is something wrong with her character. May be she has/had boyfriends, that's why no one else wants to get married to her. Oh, you are 25, haven't your parents started searching matches for you. I know of a person who is my cousin's father-in-law's sister's long lost son's neighbor's colleague's distant relative. About whom I have no idea of, but is very suitable for you. You should get married to him/her, soon. This is the right age. Your genitalia is perfectly ripe now, if you delay any further it will start to rot. And you will not be able to make babies. Your life will be meaningless then.

Come on, society. I know you are very much concerned about the survival of the species. You want me to get married to someone that you deem fit and worthy for me with your stupid concocted rules. That too as soon as possible. It might have made some sense eons ago. You know, when the life expectancy was around 30 or 40 and there were less number of humans around. But now.?? We are a strong 7.1 billion in number and steadily climbing. To put that into perspective, there are more number of humans alive today than the total number humans that ever lived on this planet. Ever. Yeah, we are the rodents the earth is infested with. We can do away with few people not reproducing. Also I'm very sure we are all going to kill each other anyway, in the not so distant future. Survival of our species is the least of our concerns. Sachin is going to retire, and cricket being the only sport that many Indians religiously follow and he being God, I do not know what we are going to do. Now, that is a problem.

To sum this up. Do we need to breathe? Yes. Do we need to be married? No. Not necessarily. Marriage is an over-rated phenomenon. Marriage is a very personal and intimate thing. And no one else has better idea about your marriage than yourself. If not, wait till you get a clear idea. So chuck all the norms that doesn't make sense. The way I see it, you can either try to make others happy by following the rules that were created by the people who were/are as stupid as we are. Or do what you like and make yourself happy. Because this society has a memory span the size of an ant's penis. They do not care about your marriage. At the most they might be concerned about your wedding. So that they could dress up and take pictures and post on their social networking profiles. Other than that, you are going to walk the path, better you choose it.

P.S: This is not a rant that is a result of some marriage proposal. Nope. And my parents are really cool about this topic, atleast until now. And I know this is a very long post. But I have much more to say. This is only one part. So this is not the end. It will be continued...

Memories

When I was young there was a rule of 'no pocket money' at our home. If we needed things we asked for it and it was provided. The only money we got were during our birthdays. Usually a 100 rupees note from dad and a 50 rupees note from mom, which was diligently hidden in old textbooks. Other than that the only time we got money was when our grandparents visited us. They too refrain from giving us more than 100 or 200 for the fear of being glared at by my dad.

After few occasions of my brother finding out where I have hidden my money and how much I have accumulated, I changed the place where I hid my money to a huge pingani or porcelain jar which my mom never used. Also it was placed on a shelf which was difficult for my brother to access.

One day I opened the jar to drop some coins into it which I had collected. You know, the ones that had the impressions of leaders or those of some events. That kind of coins. To my astonishment a 50 rupees note was missing. I pulled all the notes out and checked them again. It wasn't there. I stormed out of the kitchen and started crying out my brother's name. He didn't respond. And after sometime he came jumping around cheerfully and asked me, "What.??"

"Did you take my money.??", I shouted.

"What money.??", he asked.

"Don't play with me. Did you take the money.? Give it back to me now". I shouted again.

"I don't know anything. I don't even know where you keep it".

And even before he finished his sentence I placed a slap on his cheek so hard that my hand hurt. He immediately fell down. He looked at me with shock holding his cheek while tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Give me my money back", I said tears welled up in my eyes and choking on my words.

And by this time our paternal grandmother came running.

"What's happening.? Why are you two fighting.?", she asked.

"He beat me", my brother told her while sobbing.

"He took my money. Tell him to give it back", I said while sobbing.

"I only took it. I needed some money so I asked thambi(younger brother) if he had any. He said he didn't have but knew where you had kept yours. Since you weren't there I asked him to bring it. And I thought I will later kept it back. Don't worry, when appa comes I will give it back to you.", she said.

"I don't want any other money. I want my money. That exact same 50 rupees note. It was the last money Jogulu thatha(grandfather) gave me.", I said and broke down.

Jogulu thatha was my maternal grandfather. That 50 rupees note was the last money I got from him when he visited us for the last time. After that he passed away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it. Or else I wouldn't have taken it.", she said in a very apologetic tone.

"It's ok. Tell me which shop or to whom you had given the money. I will go and get it back.", I said.

Yes, I knew the serial number of that note. :-)

"I put it with some other money I had and gave it to xyz uncle to be given as wedding gift for abc thatha's son's wedding. Xyz uncle has already left for Tamil Nadu.", she said.

I was inconsolable for the next one week.
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I got my bicycle when I was in 8th standard. Before that whenever I asked for one, I was answered with a stern no. Always citing my height(I was around 5' 2'' then) and the lack of necessity for me to own a bicycle. And after lot of coaxing and some skipped meals, they bought me one at-last. A blue Hercules AXN. Then, it was the happiest day of my life. I wished the road from the showroom to our home never ended.

But it was bought only after we came to an agreement, me and my parents. That I was to take the bicycle out only when I went for the morning tuition. And if at all I wanted to take the bicycle out any place else I had to tell them where I was going and they would decide if it was safe to go to that place on a bicycle. And we agreed. Yeah I know my parents were a paranoid lot. And it wasn't till 10th standard I was allowed to take the bicycle to school.

After 10th the usage was fairly under my control, although I still had to take permission when I had to go to some place for which I had to cross a road that was more than 30ft wide. And once I got into 2nd PU it was a cycling heaven for me. I used go to a morning tuition which was 3kms away and an evening tuition which was 5kms away. I was riding 16kms per day. No wonder I was 63kgs at 5' 11" at the end of 2nd PU. :P My bicycle had become such an integral part of my life that I thought I can never survive without it. I used to clean it almost daily and wash it and grease it every month. It looked as new as it did when it was bought, even after 4yrs(Ok, this may be a little exaggerated). And then engineering happened. I came to Bangalore. I contemplated about bringing my bicycle here. But soon stopped thinking about it. First semester holidays were spent happily riding my old companion. Second semester went the same way. Third semester came and thus the first motorcycle. Still the bicycle wasn't ignored and the motorcycle was used only when the distance was longer. And then slowly the motorcycle was favored more than the bicycle. And by the end of the engineering, the bicycle was totally forgotten.

One day when I was in Delhi for training in my first company my parents asked me if they can sell the bicycle. That the kid in the opposite house wanted a bicycle and his parents asked my parents if they would sell it. I suddenly snapped.

"Why do you want to sell it. How much money are you going to get out of it. When I come back to Bangalore I will take it with me.", I told them clearly.

"It's not about the money. We thought at least someone could use it. It's lying in the store room getting rusted. Fine with us if you are going to use it.", they said.

The thought of selling the bicycle was so difficult to digest for me. It was like giving away a part of me to someone else to mess around with. There are so many memories that are connected to it. It was unfathomable for me to even think about giving it to someone else.

And last month when I went home I saw it in the store room. Put on its side stand, it stood there. Dust collected all over it. Even though my dad took it out and water washed it and put it back in the store room now and then. There is only so much that could be done. Bits and pieces of paint peeling off here and there, both the tires were flat, most parts have started to rust, the pedal was screeching when I tried to swing it. The chain won't even budge. And then my dad saw me looking at it.

"Still planning to take it with you.??", he asked.

"Sell it if someone asks for it.", I said.

"Are you sure.?", he said, questioningly.

"Yes", I replied.

"It may not fetch you much", he said.

"That's ok. Give it to someone who will love it.", I said.
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You know, when I think about these two incidents I realise how much we suck for things. We try to hold on to things so badly that we are ready to hurt others for it. We want to keep them with us so badly that we will let it rust rather than let anyone else use it. I hit my brother for that 50 rupees note, made my grandmother feel guilty. But in the end what happened.? Nothing. How long would I have held on to it if I had not lost it.? I don't know. But did losing it change the way I feel about my grandfather.? Did it make me miss him less.? No. Every single memory of him still remained the same.

And so will all the memories of my bicycle. Holding on to it any longer would only give me memories of it being in a depleted state. Giving it away will not take away any of the memories associated with it. The scars on my knees are not going away and so are the beautiful memories. If anything at all, it may give more such beautiful memories to some other kid, who may take care of it better than I do now.

We are going to lose things, some might get stolen, some will just get rusted and reduce to nothing and some others may be ignored and forgotten with time. But memories, they are going to remain with us till our last breath, unless we get Alzheimer's when we get old and forget everything. That would suck. Yes, some things are special. They are associated with some specific memories, thereby amplifying them. They may not be replaceable. But in the end they are just things. Petty little things like everything else in the world. They can never replace the memories. And definitely not worth fighting for, which would result in bad memories. As we age, the only thing we all are sure to accumulate are memories. Let us make an effort to make them fond ones.

P.S: I do not know exactly what triggered me to write this. But when I read it after finishing writing, I was like, what the hell have I written. This is so emotional that it's so unlike me. Anyhow I'm publishing it as it took me 2hrs to write this. And it is not going to go waste. This is one of the longest posts I have written.

P.P.S: Also one other thing that I observed is the number of times I have used the word 'memories'. If you play a drinking game where you drink a round every time you read the word 'memories', I'm pretty sure you would be lying face down before you finish reading the post. :D

'Frankly Spooking' - The review

"Vivek turned off the laptop. "So its meant to be a horror movie.? Watching the movie was a horror.", Vivek said to himself and smirked.

"Ghosts and bullshit. Whom are they kidding?", Vivek thought and lit the cigarette.

He went to the balcony slowly smoking the cigarette. He stood there leaning over the railing and taking one drag after another. And then he heard a sound. He turned back to look inside the dimly lit house. There was nothing.

"Thats strange. I could swear I heard something or someone. Well, what can it be? A ghost.?", Vivek thought and laughed to himself. He then took one long drag and turned back and let out the smoke.

And then the smoke took a contour of a face."

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No no. This is not an excerpt from the book. He doesn't write such bad stories. His stories are good. Wait, they are better. Now before we start this let me clarify one thing to you. This is not the usual reviews you read. Nope. For one, I cant write a review and for another I really do not know how to write a review. Now that said and done I will tell you why you should buy the book and why that will be such a good idea.

First and foremost this is not your usual book that comes out from many Indian authors. The chick lit, the college romance and coming off the age book, a common man/woman and his/her experiences in life book, no raunchy sex sequences or anything else that you have come across. This is a collection of some of the spine chilling and most spooky tales you would ever find. And why is it so.? Let me explain.

Few days back I watched 'The Conjuring' after all the hype it had created. So many people writing and showering praises about how spooky it was. But when I watched it, it wasn't the case. Yes it was good but not great. And I have watched my fair share of horror movies, mind you. The thing about horror movies is not knowing what or who 'the thing' is. Like the victims or the characters in the movie the audience are afraid of not knowing what or why certain things are happening. But in this movie there are guys who keep explaining everything to you. There is no suspense or thrill whatsoever. All the eerie effect that is created is solely due to the music and somewhat the cinematography.

And not to mention the numerous cliches. The house in the woods - cliche, no neighbours around - cliche, a dark and unused cellar - cliche, a white dressed, pale looking, yellow teethed, bloody-mouthed, running around the house ghost - cliche, doors and windows clamoring and clambering in the middle of the night - cliche, possessing - cliche, the possessed person floating in the air - cliche. And not to mention the ghost who lived in the same house years ago and was killed or committed suicide and decided to hang around the house and spook every other occupant of the house - big cliche. Even some Indian movies do better than that.

Now don't get confused if this is a review of the movie or the book. I already told you its not the usual reviews you read. And coming to the point, this is where the book trumps most movies or books of this genre. It doesn't stick to the formulas and cliches to spook you. The stories take place in the most normal and common places, sometimes in broad daylight. House, bathroom, shopping mall, office elevator, a bus stop. And the ghosts are not dressed in all white and floating around in the air. Some of his ghosts have a sense of humour(This alone is enough for you to buy the book). Some times you laugh at them, sometimes you feel sorry for them and most times you want to look around, just in case.

And the stories are simple and sometimes even short that while being spooked you also start wondering how can someone spook you in just two pages. The stories also evoke enough curiosity for you to keep reading and wait for the suspense to unfold but also don't keep you waiting long enough for you to say, 'Come out already, you ghost'. And for any story to be good, it needs a master storyteller. And this is where the author comes in. Mr. Sriramana Muliya. You can clearly see(or read) the experience of 10yrs in writing(on his blog) and many more years he spent telling stories and spooking others. The plots are air-tight, no loose ends left out, no unwanted details and most important of all he doesn't underestimate the intelligence of the reader. He doesn't spoon feed you every aspect of the story. He leaves out enough to the reader's imagination. That is a mark of a truly intelligent author.

To finish this off I will tell you something. Something that I experienced. The book and its stories are not something you read and expect to be scared out of wits immediately. You would be very wrong then. It is when you go to the bathroom and forget to turn off the lights and then in the middle of the night the door opens due to the breeze and you see the the lights on and you don't remember you not turning on/off the light. Then you wonder, how did the door open, why are the lights on. You know ghosts aren't real and they don't exist. Or do they.?? Then, at that moment you realise, the book was successful in what it was meant to do. To spook you.

The only thing that will make you feel bad is the length of the book. You finish reading it even before you realise. But don't you worry. You can always head to his blog and get spooked until he publishes his next book. So go ahead and buy your copy today, from here. Unless you want one of his ghosts to come ask you, "Do you feel spooked punk?".

The Dark Angels

Anamika stood on the footpath, turned back to see if she could spot any cabs. She was exasperated. She looked at her watch. It was a little past 12 in the night. She looked around again, impatiently.

"Maybe I should have waited for the office cab", she cursed herself.

She then started walking again, hoping to find a cab down the road. As she continued walking, she heard a vehicle approaching. She turned back almost with a glee. But it wasn't a cab. She left out a huge sigh in despair. And turned and started walking slowly again. The vehicle slowed down and came close to the footpath where Anamika was walking. The driver honked twice to get her attention and brought the vehicle even closer to the footpath. The vehicle was now moving at the same speed as Anamika. He honked again. Anamika didn't stop or look at them.

The glass came down and the guy beside the driver put his head out. The smoke and the loud music from the vehicle smothered Anamika. She brushed the smoke away and kept walking, now at a brisk pace.

"Lost your way madam.? Need a ride.?", asked the guy in the passenger seat in the front.

Anamika still didn't stop or react and kept walking.

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. We wont do anything to you. We have lot of space in the car. You can ride with all of us", he said and guffawed along with the two guys in the back and the driver.

"May be you guys should keep moving. I don't want any trouble", she retorted.

"What trouble can you cause us. Also we always love a little fight", he said and hi-fived with the guy in the back seat.

"Thats it. I'm calling the police", she said and put her hand in her bag to find the phone.

"Ok ok. We will back off. Cool down baby", he said. And the vehicle stopped.

Anamika turned around and continued walking. And even before she could react, someone covered her mouth with a cloth and two others lifted her. They put her in between the two guys in the back seat. The smell of alcohol and smoke inside the car was almost intoxicating. The vehicle zoomed away into the dark.

In the dark woods somewhere in the outskirts of the city a cellphone rang. Anamika picked it up.

"Hey, where are you. On the dark side of the moon.? Have been trying to call you since the past 30mins", screamed Abhaya on top of her voice.

"Seems like that. But I think I'm somewhere on the outskirts", Anamika said calmly.

"What are you doing there at this time.?", Abhaya asked.

"Cutting the front tails of few dogs", Anamika smirked.

"Aaaah that is nasty. So where did you pick up the dawgs.?", Abhaya asked.

"Actually this time they picked me up. I warned them too. Still they tried to wag their tails.", Anamika replied and smiled at her own remark.

"So gonna let them bleed to death.?", questioned Abhaya almost expecting a yes from her.

"Oh how much I would love that. But that would put them out of misery right away, wouldn't it? That's way I have called the ambulance from their phone. They will live to tell their story. So what you been up to tonight?", asked Anamika while trying to find her way through the woods.

"Thanks for asking. Tonight was good. I was returning from work when these two guys kept following me from the metro station. They kept passing comments. Describing my buttocks and breasts, you know. I just kept walking and led them to a dark alley.", said Abhaya and continued, "One of the bastards thought this was the right moment and put his hands on my shoulder."

"Tch tch tch", said Anamika.

"Yeah, he too realised his mistake after that", said Abhaya.

"So what happened next.?", prodded Anamika.

"Well, lets say he looks a lot like Voldemort now", said Abhaya and giggled.

"Aaah, the nose.?? Talk about being nasty. And what happened to the other guy.?", asked Anamika.

"I told him that he could either be a good friend and take his friend to the hospital or try to be a hero and lose his ear", Abhaya replied.

"And he chose to be a good friend", said Anamika.

"I wished. But men could be so dumb. He instead came running to attack me shouting 'You bitchhhhh'. And I fed the nose and ear to the dogs", Abhaya said in a matter of fact tone.

"Looks like we both had our share of fun tonight", Anamika said and smiled.

"Yes, that's why I want you to be back home soon. It's getting late and we have a day life too. And can you find your way back or do you want me to come pick you up.?", said Abhaya mockingly.

"Oh! Don't cha worry. Mommy can take care of herself", said Anamika and cut the call.


P.S: Too much gore..?? Well don't blame me. The final season of Dexter is on air. :P

The Bus Romance.

Ram came running and got into the bus just in time.

He was taking deep breaths. This was the only bus that went directly to his office stop. Orelse he had to change to another bus at an intersection to reach his office.

The conductor came. He bought the tickets. That is when he saw her. Sitting at a distance, facing towards him. She was looking elsewhere listening to music on her phone. Her hair tucked behind her ears. Kohl adorned her eyes. And time and again few strands of hair fell on her face which she again tucked behind her ears. In no time he was mesmerised by her beauty. He couldn't believe he was falling for her. For a woman he only saw a few minutes ago.

"There is an empty seat behind", the conductor told him.

"No, I'm fine", he replied.

The conductor gave him a weird look. But he was too immersed in looking at her to bother about the conductor's look. He cursed his bad luck for not finding her at a better place. Where he could have went and spoke to her. "Now this will end as soon as she reaches her stop", he thought.

"Wait, I will talk to her here. Whats wrong in that. May be I will ask for her number. And then I will ask her out. We could go on a date. I will propose to her. We would be married. We will have beautiful kids.", he thought. He shook his head slowly and smiled to himself at his thoughts. That is when he noticed, she glanced at him.

"Did she just look at me.??", he asked himself. "May be she was wondering why this fool was smiling to himself and shaking his head", retorted his sadistic self.

And then she clearly looked in his direction. He turned back slowly to see if she was looking at someone else. No, it was him. And now she smiled. Ram went weak in his knees.

"Is this really happening? Is she really smiling at me? My thoughts weren't that stupid after all. And what is this weird feeling in my stomach? Are those hypothetical butterflies flying in my stomach?", he thought. All these thoughts kept popping in his head like the corns in an oven. His smile changed to a wide grin now.

Just then he saw her getting up from her seat. "Oh shit. Has she reached her stop? Is she getting off the bus? No, I have to talk to her. And get her number. I wont let it end like this", he said to himself.

As the bus neared the stop, she went and stood near the door. Ram pushed himself through the little crowd and stood behind her hesitatingly. The stop arrived.

*cough, cough* Ram coughed to get her attention. The doors opened. Just before getting down, she turned her head, gave him a coy look, smiled at him and said, "Your fly is open".

The Evil Sneeze

Rahul entered the house quietly. The house was dark.

"Power cut. Great.!!", he thought.

He went up the stairs without making any noise. He knew the house well. The darkness didn't bother him.

He went to the bedroom, silently sneaking behind Priya, who was busy on her laptop.

"Achoooo....", Rahul sneezed.

"Bless you", Priya said turning back, only to discover that no one was behind her.


P.S: Were you spooked..?? Well if yes, thank this guy, I shamelessly try to imitate him to spook. If you weren't, then you have to surely head over to his blog to get properly spooked. And, he is getting published. :-)

Bad Omen

Ramu stepped out of home, waved his wife goodbye and left for work.

Just when he was about to cross his street a black cat crossed his path.

"Bloody cats", he cursed.

"I will take the other way", he thought and took a detour.

Few seconds into his detour, a flying sheet of metal from a nearby high-rise construction site cut his head off.

Work, Pray, Eat

Kannan had been working at a far away place for the past 18 months. He hadn't seen his family in those 18 months. An year and a half ago he had to leave his family at his village and go work as a coolie for a railway track laying project somewhere in Maharashtra. The rains failed for the third consecutive year. He couldn't afford to make a living from agriculture. He had to leave his wife and 6yr old son. But he didn't have a choice.

He sincerely sent the 15 rupees he got as salary every month to his family through Money order. He never saved for himself. He never saw the need for that. They built a makeshift shed for all the coolies who worked there. They were provided with 2 meals per day. A doctor visited once in a month for a general medical examination. He couldn't have asked for more.

After 18 months the project came to an end. He got a letter from his wife 3 months back. She mentioned that the rains were good this year. He thought he can go back and be with his family and take up agriculture again.  That month he kept some money for his journey and sent the rest to his family. On the day of travel he packed some food for his 3 day journey. He boarded the train that would take him home. 2 days into the journey, all the food he brought was over. Thanks to his generosity for sharing his food with a poor fellow passenger. The 8 annas he was given by his employer as a departing gift was spent on toys for his little son. With no food and no money Kannan thought he could mange the remaining one day without food.

On the third day at around 4 in the morning the train stopped at some unknown place. The tracks ahead were broken, someone told him. It would take 5-6 hrs to repair the tracks and get the trains running they said. The train was re-routed to a near-by station till then. It was already close to a day since he ate anything. And he had to manage almost another day. The hunger pangs started hurting his stomach. All the passengers waited at the station close to 10hrs, still there was no news about when the train would start. Kannan was trying to pacify his hunger by drinking water. It was of no use.

He didn't have money to buy food and he will not beg. He would rather die he thought. He also thought about working for food. But there were no such jobs available. As he sat on the bench clutching his stomach he saw a family having their meal from their packages. All their heads were tonsured. He got up to ask some food from them but turned away and went to drink some more water. He came back and sat on the bench. Now his eyes started blurring. Uncontrollable, he went to them and asked, "Returning from Thirupathi?"

"Yes brother." The lady replied with a smile.

"Will I get some prasadam?", he asked hesitatingly.

"Sorry brother, we don't open the prasadam package until we reach home and perform pooja", the lady said with the utmost apologetic tone.

"It's ok.", he said and turned to leave. But unbearable, he again turned towards them and asked, "Do you atleast have some food. I'm very hungry."

Feeling very sorry for him she said, "Brother, couldn't you have asked us a little earlier? We just threw away the remaining food."

Then the man of the family took Kannan to a stall and bought him idlis. Kannan hesitated.

"Think of this as the prasadam you asked us a little while earlier.", the man said.

The memories came rushing to Kannan when his 10yr old grandson asked him, "Thatha why do you pray to food before you eat?"

Society and the scary man.

*Random rant start*

When we were very young our parents told us about the Poochandi(Boogeyman) - a scary man, to scare us and make us compliant. 'Eat your food or else he will take you away', 'Take your medicines otherwise we will send you off with him', 'Behave well, if not he will come and catch you' and so on.

And when we grow up and are no more afraid of the Poochandi, our parents use the 'Society' to do the trick, albeit for different reasons. 'What will the society think if you do this?', 'What will the society think if you do that?', 'What will the society say if you behave like this?', 'What will the society think if you act like that?','The society wont accept this' and so on.

If you come to think of it, there are somethings common between these two.
Both are used to scare us and coerce us into doing things which we do not want to do.
Both of them are non-existent.
And even if they do exist, they don't give a rat's ass about you or your life.

I would have said the same about God and religion too. But they are also used for various other reasons. But Poochandi and Society are solely used for the purpose mentioned above. To scare and coerce us into doing/not doing things which we don't want/want to do.

*Random rant end*

Tell me your dreams

Anil returned from office, really tired. It was a Sunday afternoon. He had gone the previous evening and had been working for 18hrs straight.

"I must be having the most boring life, ever", he said to himself. "I mean who works on weekends, for 18 straight hours??", he thought in frustration.

He then thought about his life few years back when he was a school kid. Carefree, irresponsible, not a thing to worry about in the world. And then he remembered, the one thing that changed it all.

Deepak, the guy who moved into their neighbourhood. He was an IT professional. He dressed formally everyday. Clean shaven, neatly combed and well groomed. Went to and came back from office at odd hours. Although Anil thought Deepak had a boring and hectic life, he liked it. Actually he yearned for it. To be occupied, to be super busy and be all grown up and responsible. He said to himself, "I want to be like that".

Anil frowned at those memories. "How wrong and naive I was", he thought. "Now what I wouldn't do to be that kid", he contemplated. As much as he wanted to self-whine about it, he was also tired. Actually more tired than that. He dropped himself on the bed and went to snooze-land in an instance.

While deep in his sleep Anil heard a sound.

"What is that noise?", he wondered, still deep in sleep.

"Its a siren, no, its an ambulance on the road. But its sounds so nearby and it sounds like a bad cooing of a cuckoo. Wait, that's the doorbell ringing", the thoughts went on in his sleepy head.

He tired opening his eyes and felt like they were glued. The sound became more clear and loud.

"Its the doorbell. Who is that now. Let a man sleep in peace", he murmured as he got irritated.

He pulled himself up from the bed with his eyes still half closed. And he walked to the door all wobbly as the house spun around him. He opened the door and asked, "Woos that?" while yawning.

When he opened his eyes a little more and saw the person standing in front of him he felt as if someone threw a bucket of ice cold water on his face.

"Grandpa?", he exclaimed in surprise while taking a step back.

"Your surprise surprises me. I live here", his Grandpa replied.

"Are you going to let me in or stand there and block my way", his Grandpa asked.

Anil took his hand off the door and let him inside. While his Grandpa walked in, he said, "But you died 4yrs ago."

Grandpa stopped walking, turned back and said, "And then I got resurrected today?"
"That's a little late for resurrection don't you think", he mocked his grandson. "And why do you want me dead in your dream?", he asked, with a fake frown.

"Dream? What dream?", Anil asked wondering.

"The dream in which I'm dead, that dream", he said. "That's what happens when you sleep in broad daylight. You get crazy dreams. Like the living are dead and the dead are walking and talking", he said while chuckling.

Anil stood there bemused while his grandpa was walking away. And then someone called him from behind. Anil turned to see who it was.

"Anil, what are you doing standing there and staring at your granddad's picture?", asked his mom.

Anil turned back to look at his grandpa's smiling portrait adorned with garland.

Status Compilation

This is going to be one very long post. So if you have any work at all, need not even be important, you can stop reading this now. That said, this is not a typical post. Actually I do not even know if I can call this one a post. But what the heck, this is my blog. I will call it whatever I want.

Ok. This post is a compilation of my statuses on fb. Lame, I know. But, yesterday I was looking at my timeline (again, very lame, I know) and I just went on scrolling and reading my previous statuses(very very lame, I know, I know) and things that I shared. And I went way back till the start, when I created my fb account. It felt quiet strange. How I have evolved on a social-networking platform. The extensive use of sms lingo at the beginning to the college to corporate transitional confused soul to the Rajni jokes sharing phase to the I-Hate-My-Job phase. It’s a mini memoir in itself. So I decided to document it, for myself. Because what kind of man is he, who cannot laugh at his own stupidity. :-)

This is almost all of my statuses, other than the usual Happy this and that, I’m going home, I’m sick, It’s Friday and the likes. Also I left out few statuses which I shared in the beginning that were forward text messages(lamest of ‘em all, I know) and few others which I copied from other sources. Other than that, most of them were my own. Some of them are real gems you know (modesty...? what’s that...?).

Without further ado, I present to you, the “Status Compilation”.
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Do not bother to understand if maths wasn’t your favourite subject..:P

“On the office forum, someone put a status. Many people gave their support by commenting '+1', few with '+100' and some others with '+100000000000000000'. But one person commented '+1^100'..;-)

I couldn't figure out if the person was over-enthusiastic with a flash of dumbness or is a smart-ass trying to troll others..:D :P”
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"If you think about it, very long ago some guy/gal coined the name 'Brain' for brain, which was actually the function of the brain. In other words, 'Brain' named itself..;-)


Now, how wicked is that..:D"
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During Vishwaroopam release.

"Ban movies that are made on Afghan terrorists, because it may create communal riot in India. What next..?? Ban News about Afghan and Pakistan terrorists because it may create communal tension here.?? :-/



I'm seriously worried where we are heading as a Nation..!!"
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"We will celebrate Republic Day tomorrow, marking the date the Constitution of India came into effect. And we ban movies, constraining the Right to freedom for speech and expression the very Constitution gave us..:-/

#The Irony that is India..!!"
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"I'm almost sure that even in 2050 we Indians will catchify seats on buses by putting kerchief..:D"
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"India seriously needs population control, so that atleast our children and grandchildren can buy tickets for movies on first day of its release without getting stamped and smothered..:|"
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"That moment when someone comments "nice click", and you read it wrongly by joining 'c' and 'l'..;-):P

#PinnacleOfPerversion"
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 The 21/12/2012 Mayan troll. :-)

"There were jokes that if the world doesn't end on 21st Dec 2012, there will be lot of babies born on 21st Sep 2013. I think that's gonna happen anyway. Today being the Winter solstice, the longest night in a year..;-) :D

And not even a lightning bolt today..?? Crap..:-/"
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Post Delhi gang rape.

"If there is no news about rape or women degradation on any given day, now, that is News..!!

#SorryStateOfAffairs..:-/"
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New Year 2012

"Round and round it goes,
Around a star it goes.
A happy new year to you all,
Residing on this big, round, rocky ball..:-) :D"
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A Tamil song adapted to describe my sorry situation while working till 3am in the office. Skip this if you do not understand Tamil.

"Bengaloor Nagaram urangam neram
thanimai adarnthathu
paniyum padarthathu
Mail'il vandhu irangiye
Issue'um ennai parthu sirithathu

Moondru attai suvargalukulle
naanum en PC yum
thanimai thanimayo..
kodumai kodumaiyo... :-( :-/"
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"When someone says you are getting fat(like in my case), just say that you trying to become more ATTRACTIVE...


...because according to physics, "Physical bodies 'attract' each other with a force proportional to their masses”..:D ;-)"
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Ilayathalapathy Vijay's movie, and not even a single 'Punch dialogue'..?? Highly disappointed. ;-) :P :D

#Thuppaki
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I copied this from someone else. But explains everyone's situation perfectly.

"Dear Youtube,
"I can deal with Ads.
I can deal with Buffer.
But when Ads Buffer.
I suffer..!!"

via: Balachandran"
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"The strong urge to fast forward a song while watching a movie in theatre.

So annoying...:-/"
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The Apple suing Samsung drama.

"If a rectangular box with rounded edges is a design patent, then Camel should be suing Apple for stealing their Geometry box design..;) :D :P"
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I still wonder about this.

"I was in the elevator. A guy's phone rang. He has "Washing powder Nirma" as his ringtone. I mean, seriously..?!?! :D"
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You will understand this if you are a Tamilian.

"On the other hand I think Fb is biased. It doesn't allow you to create an account without Middle and Last names..:P"
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The Olympics.

"India selecting Sportsperson for Olympics is like Aamir selecting men for his team in Lagaan. Pull people from Railways, Police, Military and other Govt. organisations and expect them to win medals..;-) :D

#On the bright-side, its good that there is sports quota for Govt jobs..:-)"
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"Every girl is beautiful and every boy is handsome. You just have to be the right person to see it.

P.S: Its saturday and I'm already into Philasaphy mood..;)"
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"The urge to piss increases 'Exponentially' when you get drenched in rain..:-/ :D"
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Skip this if you dont follow TBBT or you dont know who X-men are.

"The X-Men were named after the X in Charles Xavier. Since I'm Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men..!! ;-)

#LMTD. Sheldon rocks..:D

P.S: LMTD = Laughing Myself To Death. In case you were wondering..:P"
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"Nothing's gonna last. Either good or bad, everything's gonna pass..!!

P.S: Its still Thursday, and I'm already in mood for some Philasaphy..;-)"
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"Always take pride in the things you have achieved, yet be humble for things that you haven't..!!"
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"One of the good things about being at home is, you need not worry about where to go to or wat to EAT..!! :D"
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Only one person liked this status. Is my sense of humor twisted..??

“Indian Wild Ass Sanctuary”

The desolate, blindingly white land of Little Rann is nature at its harshest and most convincing. It is also home to India’s last refuge population of Khur – Asiatic wild ass and for it is for the conservation of Khur, that this has been declared as the “Indian Wild Ass Sanctuary”.

P.S: Very misleading heading..:D
P.P.S: Or on a second thought, I might be a pervert...;-)
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"Dear Insomnia,

I ain't college kid anymore. I fucking have to go to office tomorrow. And I hate to walk around like a zombie in the office. So leave me alone and go find someone else. Pretty please.

Ur's truly."
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"People tend to take credit for their success, but blame others/situation for the failure. Success or failure, you are the one responsible for it. Face it..!!"
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How to propose to a Medical girl..??

"Girl, you just gave me a Premature isovolumic ventricular contraction/relaxation"...:D

#Premature isovolumic ventricular contraction/relaxation - Heart skipping a beat...;-)
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"If women who get paid to have sex are called 'Prostitutes', then shouldn't men who ask for dowry to get married(in-turn to have SEX..:P) be called 'Gigolos'..?? :D :D

#Gigolo = Male prostitutes. If you didn't know..;-)"
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"How our company trolls us...

Company: There's a good news and a bad news.
Us: Bad news first.
Comp: In the interests of security of employees we declare closure of offices tomorrow on account of the Bharath Bandh.
Us: :D :D And the good news :D :D
Comp: The office will consequently remain open on next Saturday as a compensation... :D :D :D :D"
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"Our life is a constant struggle to be happy, so savour the moments when you get one...:-)"
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"When you are standing in a queue and a bunch of men are staring at you.
They are either gay men having a good time or there's a real hot chick standing right behind you...:P via Rajesh Kumar

P.S: Applicable only for men.
P.P.S: There's nothing sexist about the P.S...;-)"
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I hate my job phase.

"Why does it happen to me..??
.
.
They either make me sit beside my manager or they make the person who sits beside me, my manager...:-/"
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"No human society ever exists without booze or religion..!!
.
.
That's why, "I DRINK RELIGIOUSLY"...:P

#A dialog in The Darkest Hour...;-)"
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"Love is blind n all is okay, but dont let it make ur life dark I say...;-) :P"
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"That awesome moment when you discover that ur Girlfrnd is a Football fan..,
.
.
.
And the Awful moment when you discover that she supports the opposite team...:p"
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The tremors during September, or was it August.?

"If you are drunk during an Earthquake, you would be really confused.
.
.
.
Whether its you who is wobbling or the Earth..?? :D"
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"Daaru peene ke liye kisi ko force math karo.

Baad me Apne liye daaru kam padh jaati hai...;-)"
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"What would an Atheist say when he is shocked/excited..??
.
.
.
.
Oh Your God(OYG)....!!!!!! ;p"
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I still do not know why I wrote this.

"A relationship of almost 5yrs n 8 months comes to an end. Now you may not be with me all the time. Yet you shall be always remembered. Some one much better, prettier and smarter than you has replaced you. But that doesn't mean you are any less. The sturdy and stubborn little bitch that you were, I never felt like leaving you for anyone else. Until you started acting weird for no reason at all. It couldn't have been continued this way. It would have spoiled my relationship with others, who would have thought I'm ignoring them because of you. As hard as it may feel, I had to let you go and say good bye. But dont worry, I shall come visit you whenever I feel like. Hold you and recollect all those fond memories I shared with you. But I will always miss you.
.
.
.
.
.
To my Nokia 6030,

With Love, Yours Truly...:-)"
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Now that 2012 is over and we are alive and many people are still in a hurry to get married. I'm still wondering

"Lots of people around me are getting married.
Ufff..!! Seems like people have taken the "2012-End of World" thing seriously...;-)"
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"How to make ur most Favorite song as the most Irritating one..??
.
.
Set it as ur Alarm Tone...;-)"
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"Dont try to be "Good to a Person", just try to be a "Good Person". Accepting or not accepting ur Goodness is their fucking problem..!!"
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"I'm sick of people bringing Chocolates while returning from On-site. Please change the option, we ain't 5yr olds...:-/
 
P.S: Even cash will be ACCEPTED..;-)"
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And we are again on a house hunt.

"Indian parents are ready to Marry-off their daughters to Bachelors, but wont rent their Houses to them...;-)
#EKSI"
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The 'I hate my job' phase

"Life is a Race. U r the Horse and ur Boss is the Jockey..!!
.
.
You run in the race and someone else earns the Reward..:-/
 
P.S: Jockey here is not a brand of Underwear...;p"
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"I was wondering why I PROCRASTINATE so much.
.
.
But then I thought I will think about it later...;p"
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Another 'I hate my job' phase

"The relation between a Software Developer and Tester is like that of an Indian Daughter-in-law and Mother-in-law.

For Tester- Everything the Developer does, is full of Errors and is not correct.
For Developer- Everything the Tester complaints about, is Pointless and they dont Understand...;-)"
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"May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on facebook...:-)"
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"Its really funny when ur head itches while riding a bike, and u strt scratching ur helmet...;-)"
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Very serious 'I hate my job' phase.

"Software Engineers are not much different from Prostitutes.

We go whenever they call
We do whatever they say
We perform to our best, yet they are never satisfied
We do not like what we do, yet we do it for a living
We get Screwed
&
We get paid for it...!!!"
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May be that's a bad childhood memory.

"Best childhood memory..

"You sleep all Dry and Clean and wake up all Wet and Pissed"...;-)"
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Jan LokPal hoopla

"Just a thought ---- How if we bribe the government to pass Jan Lokpal Bill..??"
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"Passenger: How long does the Train stop here.?
Station Master: 2 2 2 2 2 2
Passenger: W T F..??
.
.
.
.
.
Station Master: U dumbass it means from 1:58 to 2:02(Two to Two to Two Two)...;p

Courtesy: Anbe Sivam"
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In my defense, I know the explanation  for this.


"Enakku romba naala oru sandegam(I have a doubt since a long time)..

While Black is a color n White is also a color,
Y the hell is Black&White TV not a color TV..!!"
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"When you join a new project, the team meetings are like Watching a Chinese movie without Sub-titles...!!!"
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"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But many a times they need an Eye check-up...;-)"
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"I always think I become foolish wen I'm Drunk.
.
And the prblm is,
.
I think the opposite wen I'm actually Drunk...;-)"
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The only English poem I wrote. If you can call this a poem that is.

"Millions of memories, only few hundreds to cherish.
Yours are the ones that will never perish..
Many a faces in life when I think,
Yet Yours is the one I remember every time I blink"...:-)
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This question is yet to be answered.

"If ADAM n EVE were d first n only humans created by GOD, I wonder whom their children married n how d Human race continued...?!?!?!?"
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So that's it. These are most of my statuses. From 12th August 2009 till 26th Feb 2013. Now don't go and search my name on fb to add me as a friend, okay..?? :D

P.S: Mid-way while composing this post I started wondering if 'Statuses' is the plural of 'Status'. When I searched on Google, I discovered that many people have the same confusion. Anyhow, MS Word and Blogger say its correct. So much for studying in a Convent for 12yrs.:P

E(I)nsure

Vikas walked out of the office building. He was in a hurry to catch a bus home. He had to cross the service lane and the four lane road to reach the bus stop on the other side. Just then his phone rang. A land-line number. And he knew who it would be. He picked up the call and said, "Hello".

"Good Evening, Sir. My name is Neha, I'm calling from New Life Insurance Co. We have a new scheme which I think you would be interested in. It's very.."

"Look, I'm in a hurry. Could you call me back later?", Vikas said and cut the call.

He reached the office gate, and was about cross the service lane, when his phone rang again. He picked the call and said, "Hello, look I said I…", impatiently.

"Sir, please sir, it won’t take much of your time, sir. We found that you do not have any policies in your name. I think this scheme would be very apt for you. I.."

"Please", Vikas interrupted her. " I do not need any Insurance policies. So please stop calling me", Vikas said and pressed the red button hard.

"These people always find the perfect time to annoy people", he said to himself stepping onto the main road without looking at the truck coming towards him.

The driver hit the brake as hard as he could. The truck came to a screeching halt. Vikas was thrown a good 6 to 7 feet away. Everything went dizzy for a while. But he soon regained his consciousness and got up on his feet. He was about to shout at the driver and give a piece of his mind, when he realised that it was actually he who was in the wrong. He then saw people moving towards him. He signalled with his hand that he was ok.

"Maybe I should get Insured after all", he said and started crossing the road, when he saw a car speeding towards him. He signalled the car to slow down. But it kept accelerating. When the car came almost near him, he stood there stunned, motionless and exclaimed, "What the Effff", and the car passed right through him.

At a little distance he saw the traffic police clearing the crowd away from the truck, where his body lay, crushed under the wheels.